Rejection is something we all have to deal with our entire lives. When you are little, it stings to be the last picked for a team. It hurts when someone decides they don't want to be your friend anywhere. It is painful to not get the part you want in the school play.
In your teens, you learn the pain of being rejected by a love interest. I felt the heartache my daughter went through with unrequited love. It isn't pleasant to find out that the college you really want to go to isn't interested in you. You get acquainted with being rejected for jobs you apply for (which still happens at my advanced age).
No matter what stage of your life you are in, rejection is always lurking. As a new mother, I dealt with rejection when my newborn son, who had been jaundiced, rejected me when I tried to breastfeed. As my children got older, I sometimes felt a little rejection when they wanted to be with their friends instead of me. (And there were times I was relieved!)
When I was fired from a job in radio, I thought my name and talent would have other stations clamoring to hire me. My ego was rather bruised when that was not the case. In another job, I was irritated to see other employees who didn't work nearly as hard get raises, praises, and promotions.
I have lived by advice I have given to others who pursue any creative endeavors. If you put yourself out there, whether it is through acting, singing, writing, in front of the camera or the microphone - whatever your creative pursuit might be - you have to develop a tough skin. Especially in this time of social media, your talent may be touted, but it will also be criticized. My rule is that constructive criticism should be considered. Now I am not saying that it must be followed, but it should be considered. Sometimes. constructive criticism can make whatever it is that you are doing better or stronger. And sometimes, it may not be something you choose to apply. Just consider it. If the criticism comes from someone who simply wants to insult you or tear you down, simply ignore it. I realize that might be easier said than done, but strive to rise above.
I have tried to live by what I preach. In doing voiceover work, the producer calls the shots. If my delivery wasn't want the producer wanted, they could tell me what they had in mind, and I would do it as many times as it took to achieve their vision.
All that being said, now that I have completed writing my first novel and have submitted it to MANY agents, rejection has gotten a wee bit harder to swallow. Many rejections are simply form letters - unfortunately your project is not a good fit for me at this time. Some rejections have been almost pleasant, throwing in words like "interesting" or mentioning the name of the main character so that I can be assured my proposal was actually pondered. Unfortunately, some rejections come off as cruel: "Unfortunately, I'm afraid I wasn’t captivated enough to ask to see more material." Yes, that hurt my feelings.
The point is that rejection will always exist in one form or another in everyone's lives. The trick is to not let it keep you down or cripple you. There have been times I have wanted to just give up. But I hold on to the thoughts that: a) I actually finished writing a novel. b) There are other agents and options in the world. c) I will put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
Rejection may be beating out acceptance right now, but the game is not over!
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