Upon retiring, did I immediately get to work on the novel? Nope. I started cleaning feverishly. After working full-time forever, I hated spending my whole weekends and days off cleaning the house. So I started going from room to room and deep cleaning. I cleaned out cabinets, closets, and the pantry. I worked with my husband on cleaning out the garage. I sent photos to my son in Canada asking if this item or that one could be trashed, donated, or put into my garage sale pile. And there is one thing about cleaning and cleaning out - it gets a lot worse before it gets better. I would be embarrassed for anyone to see the inside of my house! Between the bags of clothes that will be donated, to the dining room full of items for my husband's and my side business, to the furniture we are selling on Facebook that is awaiting pickup, plus the miscellaneous dog toys scattered about, my house is a disaster. But I digress.
As I told my daughter, I think one of the reasons I procrastinated was the fear that my novel sucked. I have written both personally and professionally my whole life. As a kid, I used to write short stories for the amusement of myself and my best friends. I wrote free verse poetry and have a huge box of it. It was kind of a therapy for me. At my various jobs in radio and television, I wrote press releases, news stories, scripts, commercials, and more. I won the Reader's Choice Award for a short story several years ago from a regional magazine. I have always felt that I had a talent for writing. But a novel was out of my comfort zone. Not only did I need to complete approximately 80,000 words, but those words needed to create a credible story with realistic characters and believable dialogue. Could I accomplish that?
Well last week, I finished my novel. After endless tweaking, rewriting, and rereading, I made the call that it was finished. It was definitely labor. Was this section believable? No. So I rewrote it. Was this character's name too close to the other character's? Yes. So I changed it. How would I get from this point to that point in a credible way? I was stuck on that for a couple of days, but had an epiphany in a doctor's office waiting room. Many a night did I write in my head as I went to sleep. Many baths and showers were devoted to thinking about the novel. As I heard another author say about her process, I had to let my characters talk to me. The novel was born from a paragraph that just popped in my head. As I got to know the characters, they told me where to go next. I just wrote it all down. But was my writing worthy to be shared with the world?
I have read some bad novels. I have been downloading freebies from BookBub lately. One cozy mystery (my favorite genre and what my novel is) was awful. I hated the characters, thought the plot was pretty dumb, and knew who the killer was about halfway through. I hate not finishing novels, so I read every word. I kept thinking, "If this person can get a novel published, then I should be able to also!" But then the thought occurred to me that someone may read my novel and think the same thing!
At my last job as Promotions Director for a public television station, I was the editor for our monthly program guide. After working on the guide for weeks, I was too close to it to see any errors. I would always get a number of people to proof it to look for spelling errors, grammatical errors, or things that just didn't make sense. When you are too close to a project, it's hard to be objective. I am definitely not objective, but I am unsure.
I have told people in creative endeavors, whether it was someone wanting to work on-air in radio, someone who wanted to be a writer of some sort, or someone pursuing a talent such as singing, that they need to have a thick skin. People will always have opinions about your work, both pro and con. When you get compliments, savor them. When you get criticisms, you have to differentiate whether it is constructive criticism or just pure negativity. Especially now in the age of social media, we all know trolls who love to spew mean comments about everyone and everything just for the sake of being cruel. When you are in the public eye, you need to sort it all out. With constructive criticism, one should consider the merits. It doesn't mean that you have to make changes, but you should listen and decide for yourself if this direction is the right one for you. As for the negative comments, just let them roll off. You can't let criticism just for the sake of criticizing get to you. I try to live by what I preach. If someone has a suggestion that is valid, I am definitely open to it. I may use it or reject it, but it's an informed decision. If it's just a cruel remark, who cares? Let it go.
As I have said, I don't know yet if my novel is good or not, if it can be improved, or if it needs a total overhaul. Right now, it is in the hands of two people who have promised me blatant honesty. And I have promised that I will not get angry about any criticisms they have. And I won't because I am very grateful that they are doing this for me. I don't know how long the revision process will take or exactly where I go from there, but luckily, I have a New York Times bestselling author - who is also one of my favorites - in my corner who will give me advice. So if the time comes that my novel gets published, I will kick into marketing high gear, and you will hear LOTS more about it! But meanwhile, I accomplished something I always wanted to - I WROTE A NOVEL!!!
