FIRST LOVES....

As parents, we want to protect our children.  From the time they are born, we do everything in our power to keep them safe - from sickness, injuries, pets, neighborhood children, natural disasters - you name it.  We want to wrap them up in a cocoon and keep them close, warm, and safe.  We want them to avoid all the mistakes we made in our youth - and then some!  But there is one thing we cannot protect them from - broken hearts.

I was grateful for every day that my son did not have a girlfriend.  It wasn't that I was being selfish or jealous - I didn't want to have to deal with everything that goes with it.  Him locked in his room on the phone endlessly...him wanting money to go out and do things with her...him spending all his time thinking about her and none spent thinking about schoolwork.  And don't get me started on the talks about boundaries, trust, and every other virtue we want him to possess when dating.

Our son had a few girlfriends once he started high school.  And I liked each of them.  The first was rather short-lived.  The second was the one where the drama started.  I thought he was going to fall apart when the two of them broke up for a number of reasons.  He was shattered.  And it broke my heart for him.  I spent so much time having heartfelt talks with him, trying to make him see that this wasn't the end of the world - but making sure not to discount the way he felt. 

It wasn't long before he was in love again.  I have to say that I really believe this young lady was good for him.  In addition to being pretty - duh! - she is smart, talented, and seems to have a good head on her shoulders.  I have to say that the whole family came to love her.  My husband and I helped him pick out gifts for her, advised him on places to take her, and coached him on being a thoughtful boyfriend.  After their one-year anniversary passed, I wondered if they might be one of those rare couples that gets together in high school and makes it for the long haul.  But I knew it wasn't likely.

Last week, he broke up with her.  I don't know - I don't want to know - all of the details.  I do know from talking to him that it wasn't a decision he made lightly.  I know he still loves and respects her.  I was glad that it wasn't because another girl had turned his head, or that he "needed his space," or some other "boy" reason.  He says he doesn't want to date for a while, and I think that's a good thing.

I guess break-ups with my kids brings back memories from a lifetime ago when I was dating.  To put it bluntly, I hated it.  I hated all the feelings that dating can make you feel...up one minute, and WAY down the next.  Will he call?  Why does he call so much?  Where do I stand with him?  How can I get rid of him?  Is he the one?  I was never a fan of angst...

If anyone finds a way to protect our kids from matters of the heart, please let me know - we can sell it and make millions!