I always said that I would probably keep working until the day I died, but lo and behold, I did it! I have been a retired woman for just over two weeks! The decision was not made on the spur of the moment. After dragging my husband to a workshop and a personalized appointment on retirement from my state job, along with countless discussions, and a whole lot of "figgerin'," we picked a retirement date a couple of months away.
I can't say it was exactly easy to break the news to the powers that be at my agency. I had made my decision and wasn't backing down though. I think there was a couple of attempts of guilt-tripping, but as I have always said, my father was the king of all guilt trips, so no one else can get away with it. (And I try to never do that to my kids.) Of course, I would have loved for the higher ups to have said, "We would be lost without you! We will give you a huge raise and a great big bonus check if you'll stay!" And of course, I knew that wouldn't happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? No one is indispensable - no one! The world will keep rotating, perhaps a little wobbly at first, perhaps in a slightly different way, but it will rotate nonetheless.
I tried to get a lot done before I left. I truly slaved away on a complicated grant wrap-up, and I tried to work ahead on odds and ends so that no one else would have to worry about it over the holidays. I also tried to write a list of everything I did and how I did it - eight pages worth. I even editorialized a little, conveying my thoughts on good social media practices and providing excellent customer service. Will any of that matter now? I don't know, but it was my last say.
Retirement has taken a little getting used to. Now, I won't lie - going to bed when I want and getting up when I want (depending partly on four animals) does not suck. And it is not awful to be able to stay in my pajamas as long as I want, to wear whatever I feel like wearing each day, and going without makeup and not fixing my hair some days. I try not to be too big of a slob every day. Since I spend my days with my husband, I don't want him wondering why he was in favor of me being around all of the time!
I said that when I retired, I would probably become a hermit. That isn't too far from the truth. I am content most days to stay at home. In fact, I have kind of been nesting. In addition to not really knowing how to do nothing without feeling guilty, I have been doing something I have not had much time or energy for - deep cleaning my house. I have been taking one room at a time, and cleaning, plus throwing out tons of stuff. My husband and I want to downsize to a smaller house, so this needs to be done anyway. Plus, the more I look at dust and clutter, the more I want it gone.
I do have things I want to accomplish. My husband and I started a small business a couple of years ago, so I want to tend to it more and grow it. I have a great time being creative and making new things. I want to write - more blog posts and I REALLY want to finish the novel I have been working on here and there for years. I am very close to finishing it, but am also scared that it sucks. You never know until you try though, right?
I am not saying that I won't get another job. In fact, I have already seen a part-time job - very part-time, that I may apply for. But I love knowing that I can do something I want to do just because I want to do it. And if I don't like it, I can quit! (I guess I shouldn't tell prospective employers that, eh?)
When it's all said and done, I like being retired. So far, so good. I'll keep you posted on how this new chapter plays out.
Sadly, Christmas has never been my favorite time of year. I grew up as an only child without a lot of extended family around, so Christmases were always rather quiet at our house. My parents always got me great presents - not too little, not too much - but I had always wished to be around my cousins, aunts, and uncles. To me, Christmas was supposed to mean big family gatherings with lots of love, some arguments. lots of laughter, and kids having a ball.
For a number of years, my husband and I celebrated Christmas with our mothers and his siblings and their families. While I don't miss all of the shopping and trying to figure out what this one or that one would like, I miss the get-togethers with kids running around, with everyone eating the collective foods that were brought, and all of us ooohing and ahhing over our favorite gifts.
When my mother-in-law passed away, and then my mother, Christmases got quieter. My husband and I decided to form our own traditions. We were still to open gifts on Christmas Eve - something my husband insisted on, probably from his German roots. Each year, there would be some variations on the Christmas Eve menu that usually included my son's favorite sausage/cream cheese/Rotel dip, Rachael Ray's fudge, and butterscotch/chow mein noodle haystacks. There might be sandwiches or gumbo or chili or little sausages in barbecue sauce - always plenty to eat. And our doors were always open to my son's girlfiends and now my daughter's boyfriend. I still believe the more, the merrier.
We usually had a Christmas tree - my husband insisted on a live one. I would usually set up my Christmas village. It began right after we were married. I had mentioned to my mother-in-law that I always wanted a village, so she would give me a piece or two each year. My husband continued the tradition, and it has grown. My daughter would make additions - Pokemon one year, and wolves another! My village has grown rather large, and it has a lot of character - and usually a cat sitting in the middle of it!
This year, there was so much going on, so, combined with a lack of spending money, we did not put up a tree, and I did not set up my village. Even Thanksgiving was done in a hurry since my husband had a doctor's appointment five hours away two days before Turkey Day. Since we have been working on our side business, my dining room looks more like a warehouse. I was in the process of retiring, so I was trying to wrap up so many things at work, plus get the reams of paperwork done. When I got paid on December 21st, Christmas shopping could finally commence. And I remembered why I hated Christmas shopping in brick and mortar stores! Almost as much as I hate wrapping Christmas presents!
My daughter loves giving Christmas gifts as much as she loves getting them. She called me countless times to check out ideas for gifts for me or her father. She likes carefully selecting things people will like, and at least in my case, things I wouldn't normally buy for myself. And I really enjoyed watching her open one of her gifts - a wrapped box inside a wrapped box inside a wrapped box. When she got to the last one, there was a toy car with musical notes taped to it, and a poem telling her that she will be getting a much-needed, much wanted new stereo system installed in her vehicle.
This year, things were even quieter. My son, who got married and moved to Canada, was not here this year. When he left, he was convinced he would be working and that he and his wife would be able to fly home to celebrate with us. But things move a lot slower than they had predicted, so they were stuck in Toronto for a quiet Christmas of their own. I miss my daughter torturing her brother with gag gifts, or presents wrapped with so much tape that they were almost impossible to open. Despite the fussing, there were a lot of laughs.
Life moves on. Even family moves in and out of your Christmas celebrations, though they remain ensconced in your heart. I have no clue what next Christmas will bring. We don't plan to still be in the same house...time to downsize. I sincerely hope that both of my kids and their significant others will be with us next year, somewhere, somehow. That is all I want for Christmas!
