I always said that I would probably keep working until the day I died, but lo and behold, I did it! I have been a retired woman for just over two weeks! The decision was not made on the spur of the moment. After dragging my husband to a workshop and a personalized appointment on retirement from my state job, along with countless discussions, and a whole lot of "figgerin'," we picked a retirement date a couple of months away.
I can't say it was exactly easy to break the news to the powers that be at my agency. I had made my decision and wasn't backing down though. I think there was a couple of attempts of guilt-tripping, but as I have always said, my father was the king of all guilt trips, so no one else can get away with it. (And I try to never do that to my kids.) Of course, I would have loved for the higher ups to have said, "We would be lost without you! We will give you a huge raise and a great big bonus check if you'll stay!" And of course, I knew that wouldn't happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? No one is indispensable - no one! The world will keep rotating, perhaps a little wobbly at first, perhaps in a slightly different way, but it will rotate nonetheless.
I tried to get a lot done before I left. I truly slaved away on a complicated grant wrap-up, and I tried to work ahead on odds and ends so that no one else would have to worry about it over the holidays. I also tried to write a list of everything I did and how I did it - eight pages worth. I even editorialized a little, conveying my thoughts on good social media practices and providing excellent customer service. Will any of that matter now? I don't know, but it was my last say.
Retirement has taken a little getting used to. Now, I won't lie - going to bed when I want and getting up when I want (depending partly on four animals) does not suck. And it is not awful to be able to stay in my pajamas as long as I want, to wear whatever I feel like wearing each day, and going without makeup and not fixing my hair some days. I try not to be too big of a slob every day. Since I spend my days with my husband, I don't want him wondering why he was in favor of me being around all of the time!
I said that when I retired, I would probably become a hermit. That isn't too far from the truth. I am content most days to stay at home. In fact, I have kind of been nesting. In addition to not really knowing how to do nothing without feeling guilty, I have been doing something I have not had much time or energy for - deep cleaning my house. I have been taking one room at a time, and cleaning, plus throwing out tons of stuff. My husband and I want to downsize to a smaller house, so this needs to be done anyway. Plus, the more I look at dust and clutter, the more I want it gone.
I do have things I want to accomplish. My husband and I started a small business a couple of years ago, so I want to tend to it more and grow it. I have a great time being creative and making new things. I want to write - more blog posts and I REALLY want to finish the novel I have been working on here and there for years. I am very close to finishing it, but am also scared that it sucks. You never know until you try though, right?
I am not saying that I won't get another job. In fact, I have already seen a part-time job - very part-time, that I may apply for. But I love knowing that I can do something I want to do just because I want to do it. And if I don't like it, I can quit! (I guess I shouldn't tell prospective employers that, eh?)
When it's all said and done, I like being retired. So far, so good. I'll keep you posted on how this new chapter plays out.
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