We had plenty of food - ham, sausage dip, shrimp mold, a veggie tray, cookies, haystacks.... And there were plenty of gifts to open. The tree and my Christmas village (aka "Tiny Town") were lit up. The fireplace was on - plus we had the one on TV with Christmas music, and dogs, cats, and pigs running around. Everyone got what was on their lists, and then some. I appreciated each and every gift I received. And, of course, I felt guilty that my kids spent any of their hard-earned money on me. My favorite part is watching the reactions of everyone as they open their gifts. Then the gifts are all opened - piles of trash and boxes on the floor. Everyone "play with" their gifts, and we all finally go to bed.
Christmas Day is slow-paced - everyone gets up whenever they feel like it. Each person - including Mom - had their favorite candy in their stockings. Everyone pretty much does their own thing. I played "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy" with my daughter and her boyfriend, and watched my husband play his new gold game a little. And then I drifted back to my computer, so we were all in different parts of the house. Then it hit me - the empty feeling.
It's kind of hard to describe. I wasn't sad. Maybe I was a little bored. It's not like Christmas as a child when you had lots of things to put together and play with. Yes, I miss my mother and having Christmas dinner with her. I miss the big Christmas get-togethers at my mother-in-law's house. I miss Christmases with small children in the house - and no, I am not hinting that I want grandchildren yet!
There is so much frenzy leading up to Christmas. What do you want - and what do YOU want? Where can I find that? Is it on sale anywhere? If I order online, will it arrive in time? What do we eat on Christmas Eve - and on Christmas Day? What time does everyone get off work and can get to our house? The malls, the websites, etc., etc. At work, everyone has a reason to be a little distracted. And the endless parade of treats! (Yes, the good eating habits need to resume REALLY soon!) But in one fell swoop, it's all over. All those weeks of planning, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, and cooking are done. Yes, more cleaning will have to ensue in the coming days - and that's nothing to look forward to!
Questions cross my mind - where will we all be next Christmas? My daughter should be in the same place since she is still in college. I hope she is still in a happy relationship. My son may be moving - not just out of the state, but out of the country. Chances are, I will be in the same job. Will we be in the same home? I don't know, since my husband and I long to downsize. Who will be under our roof this time next year? I guess no one knows the answer to that question.
Maybe I am a little sad, as these thoughts bring tears to my eyes. Maybe I am like my mother - "If I didn't have anything to worry about, I'd worry about that!" Don't get me wrong - I am happy my family is here with me - I love them all dearly - I am grateful for each and other moment I have with them. It's just a case of the "After Christmas Empty Feeling" - and this, too, shall pass....
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