My mother was an awesome mom! It always seemed to me that she could do anything - and she demonstrated that often. She could cook, sew, crochet, knit, refinish furniture, do minor plumbing and electrical repairs, and so much more. She and my father - with my mother doing the majority of the work since my father was blind - put in a tiled floor on our patio. She painted rooms, made curtains, cleaned, did yard work, did dishes, ironed - and she had a full-time job.
My mother took me to all my doctor's and dentist's appointments. She took me to dance classes. She took me shopping. She took me to the library, helped me with my homework, and quizzed me for tests. She typed all of my term papers - and attempted to teach me to type.
I tried to help my mother out - probably not as often as I should have. But I would sometimes cook supper, or at least get things started for her. I would do some laundry for her. And once I started driving, I think I took a lot of the load off of her.
My mother put me through college - a private one no less - with the savings bonds she bought every payday. It was important to her that I get a college education - and she couldn't have been more proud when my graduation fell on her birthday.
My mother was a loving grandmother. She didn't get to see her grandson or granddaughter as much as she may have liked since we lived an hour away. But she helped any way possible. She made clothes and stuffed animals for the kids. She bought them diapers, clothes, and toys. She helped me so much when I was a brand new mother with a sickly newborn to care for.
My mother was one of the best friends I ever had. Whatever good or bad happened to me, I couldn't wait to call and tell her the news. To this day, when something happens, I want to pick up the phone to call her. It takes me a minute to realize that I can't.
My husband and I were remembering one Mothers Day that we decided to take my mother out to eat. We should have known that every restaurant in the greater New Orleans area would be packed. We went to one place that we knew she liked which was about a 45-minure drive away. The wait was ridiculously long. We probably tried at least a couple more places before we finally found a place to eat. I don't think she really enjoyed that outing, but tried to be gracious about it.
The last 4 years or so of my mother's life were not good ones. She was suffering from Alzheimer's - and I do mean suffering. My mother was way too proud of a woman from good hillbilly (or as she would say - "Mountain William!") stock to have ever have wanted to live like that. It hurt me so much to witness the decline. She was not in a happy place by far. She relived unpleasant things from her past, unpleasant things that never happened, and forgot so many good things. I'm not totally sure that she knew exactly who I was half the time, or that she remembered being a grandmother.
It doesn't feel right to me to celebrate Mothers Day. It's a day when you honor your mother. So I guess I honored her by thinking about her...a lot. I honored her by doing the things for my family that she did for hers - shopping for groceries and doing laundry mainly.
My son didn't understand why I didn't want to go out for Mothers Day. First, I don't really like to be the center of attention. (I know some of you who know me well may not believe it.) I don't need anyone to notice me today just because I gave birth. Second, I feel very guilty having anyone spend money on me. I am not a gracious recipient of birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day or anniversary gifts - why should this be any different?
If my kids want to show me appreciation for "birthing them," they can put their dirty dishes in the sink, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, feed the cats and dogs, take out the trash, learn to do laundry - not on this one Sunday, but throughout the year. I'll bet their grandmother would smile down on them, too.
well said. But remember, it makes others feel good when they can do something for you! Accept those gifts graciously. Makes the giver feel good inside, too.
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